living in the pluperfect

Wednesday was the City Page's 25th Anniversary Party at First Ave. Three hours of open bar and free Pizza Luce (bins of veggie nuggets!) leads to way too much consumption. Sitting in the entry holding three drinks each, talking at rapid speeds wearing out my vocal cords, watching everyone file into the shows - there was some screamo in the Entry and Brother Ali rap-a-tapping in the Main Room. Dancing, rock and roll haircuts, drinks spilled all over.

While sitting in the Entry, someone commented to me "It's just that no one I know is happy". I looked at him and said, "But I am!" Although I was shocked that those words came out of my mouth, they weren't untrue. I feel like I am caught in an upward momentum - I don't know if I have ever felt this mobile before. I used to be hesitant to do things that I couldn't "picture" in my head. I always assumed that there was a way I was supposed to do things, that there were other lives I should mirror. It's become much clearer that if I spend this time in my life worried about what will happen in 5 years, I will never enjoy now.

So right now I am going to sit in the chair by the window, watch this morning storm approach, drink some coffee, read White Teeth, and listen to Nico.